How the L.S.O.P.P WORKS.

Can we survive on all the other pitiful planets?
Think NO, well now you can with the L.S.O.P.P spacesuit advanced. The LSOPP stands for life saver on poisonous planets. This is a fully functional space suit, it gives you all the life support you want.
The LSOPP space suit runs on heartbeats from a human, so no need to keep buying AAA batteries ALL THE TIME.
Our new space suit doesn't just have one pair of shoes. Actually it has all the pairs of shoes you can get put only into one pair of shoes called surface shoes. The spacesuit also has an Alien translator which turns their language into your language; we installed this feature just in case you bump into an alien on the way. We have also installed something called O.U.P.S [our universal positioning system] which works exactly like a G.P.S.
Now let's get into the more technical stuff.
You know how it can get really hot in a space suit. Well that will never happen in the LSOPP advanced since it's got a cooling & heating system which will change your body temperature into a nice relaxing feeling. Well every spacesuit should have this….. A radio transmitter, this one though can call all the way around the universe. This is the extra fun zone you're going to read.
The LSOPP has some awesome grapple hooks for staying on the planet you're on or for getting small heavy souvenir. This spacesuit also has a built in jet pack for flying over high mountains or volcanoes. The LSOPP spacesuit has a flat screen TV. Just in case your fav movie is on this particular hour. If you don't want to watch TV we installed a SB [silly bob] which is like a little elf that will make you laugh out loud.
These are the things you'd strictly need. An oxygen tank fuelled to max for your breathing purpose, a hydration box for perfect hydration. This is something quite fancy a food tasting air compressor which makes the air taste like your favourite meal.
The LSOPP can also blow up any unexpected guests. The LSOPP stands for life saver on poisonous planets.

 
Explained by Stefan